Flattery Will Get You Everywhere.
Hey the dude complimented me in a really bizarre manner. That has to warrant posting no?
Subject: I don’t wanna marry you – promise.
Did you know there is a gift on here that is a picture of a girl in her underware? I’m not sure I understand that. I mean give it to a girl and it says, ‘I hope you look like this’ or give it to a guy and it says… um wait what does it say? Clearly the whole random hot chick picture gift is lost on me. I hope my life can go on.
…..blah blah … yadda yadda ….
I would hope that doesn’t put a damper on our friendship.
Since I won’t be having your babies I think that puts me in the clear, no?
Subject: How sad. No wife for me today…
That must be the most provocative and yet blatant attempt at appealing to my interest in the creative that I’ve experienced on here. Clearly, you’re in the wrong field with that computer design. Yet… you could design some pictures of girls in underwear that would satisfy your understanding of said phenomenon. Interesting? Regardless, I’m afraid that your life won’t go on. You’re doomed. I read it in your horoscope. Perished at age 26.
Unfortuantely I’ve already come to a dire conclusion to our interaction (or lack thereof)… You don’t want to marry me. You decided already not to have my children. I’m afraid that I have to break up with you. Nope, sorry, it’s over. Don’t start to argue. And it’s all you, not me. We could’ve been married and had kids but no.
No no no, you had to ruin it all. I’m through with this relationship.
Subject: It’s all an illusion. I promise.
How dare you read my horoscope! That is such an invasion of my privacy. Oh and just so you know I am about 89% sure that I failed to fill in the form accurately therefore my sign is incorrect. So ha!
……When appealing to people who have basically created themselves online it would take a small minded moron to not mirror their own traits. Flattery will get you everywhere my friend, absolutely everywhere.
Subject: Exempt from all further dealings.
It’s too late. I already read your horoscope and I’m 89.5% sure that it is accurate – at least according to the information that I know about you thus far. Yes yes.
Hmm… in my dealings, I’m not sure how far flattery will get someone. However, clearly your vastly superior experience in this area, coupled with your intelligent psychopathy dawned out of the wisdom of world leaders outshines my small-town experiences.
Tada!
Final thoughts: Some material needs to be practiced before put into action. Not everyone can wrap their brains around my astounding wit and intellect and therefore confuse my subjects. Lastly, there are times (they are few) when I am just plain old not funny.
